PBP- H is for Heaven, Hell & the Hearafter.

I have always found the afterlife an interesting topic. I grew up with a belief in heaven. A promise that when I died and left this body I would go to a happy lovely place full of clouds and all my family would be there. Unless ofcourse if I were naughty and then I guess I would go to hell and burn for all eternity with some type of torture and pain involved.

*//*Note: This is all from my own perspective & thoughts. I obviously do not have any idea what happens when we die. It is a best guess scenario.  I could be right, I could be way wrong. I think it is best if people come to their own conclusions. I do not mean any disrespect to others views, I am only attempting to explain why I do not feel a specific idea is right to me. Thanks.

I guess there are those who would say I was going straight to hell. I am a bisexual witch who has sinned alot. I have broken every single seven deadly sin. I have broken I think 8 of the 10 commandments. I haven't committed murder or adultery. But hey I am still young right? lol I am only kidding ofcourse.

I have always found it very strange though the concept of hell. I can be a good person. I could spend my entire life devoted to others but if I do one thing wrong I have to be tortured for all of eternity for it? That is less a concept of punishment and more one of pure hatred IMO. Shouldn't it be instead people learning from their mistakes and becoming better in spite of them? I do not believe in a real hell. Not an eternal afterlife of pain and misery or punishment for doing the wrong thing or making the wrong choice. I understand the basic reasoning behind it. I see it as the boogey man. Something to scare and warn people into doing the right thing.

If there is any type of hell I think I would view it alot like that in the movie What Dreams May Come. I really liked that movie, though I saw it forever ago so my memory may not be that fresh lol. Instead of there being an evil horrid hell that you are sent to, hell is a place you create yourself & trap yourself in it. I think this is something that already happens now to many people. Feelings of guilt, pain, anger, fear trap us into a prison of our own making. Perhaps this could echo right through into the afterlife.

Perhaps it would be the same as heaven. Is heaven supposed to be perfect? Besides the idea that my idea of perfection may not be the same as yours. It reminds me of the Matrix (I won't link to it because really who doesn't know about that movie??). In it the machines tried to build a perfect world for us but we rejected it. We strive for drama. I think perfection has no point, no reason. If there is no reason then why even exist?

If tomorrow you woke up with all the answers and had all the happiness you could ever ask for, what would you do? Just be? I think that would be utterly boring. You wouldn't even need to think or feel. Everything would be meaningless. You can't have light without the dark to give it meaning.

With the idea of intent and purpose it led me to that of reincarnation. I love the idea of it. That my body may die but that my consciousness can go on unending. Life is short. Incredibly short for some. I think the only point it can have is for me to experience it and learn and take it all in. And then I can die and be reborn and something new and experience something completely different.

I like the thought that I have lived many different lives. I think I could have even experienced life in many different ways. Have been a tree or an animal, or a flying dolphin on another world. Life is vast and I do not think it is limited to human beings.

I would like to think that I get to choose what I am reborn as and if I even am. I think that this body only holds a part of our consciousness and once released from it that I am more connected to the universe and a part of everything.

So in that same thought I think once my body dies my soul just melds into the cosmic flow of the universe and the Goddess. I like to see it as a great sea. Everything is within it, nothing without. I am just a drop of water, unique and yet a part of the greater essence.

 We all come from the Goddess And to her we shall return. Like a drop of rain. Falling to the ocean ~ Z Budapest


I do not believe in the idea of karma and reincarnation. Where what we do in this life binds what happens in the next. It makes me feel too much like the whole blame the victim mentality. Your life is horrid so you just blame yourself for really screwing it up in a past life. I can't see that because I look at a child who has been hurt, abused and see nothing but innocence. But in that same thought, if I did choose this life did I choose to have bad things happen to me? 


It gets confusing for sure. I am not sure really. I have thought about it alot. There have been times in my life where I just want to scream out why? Why do I suffer or have this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? People say you are given only what you can handle to make you stronger and such. But I don't believe that. Because some people are given far too much for them to handle and it is easy to say they just gave up or didn't try but in truth sometimes it is just really too much. 

I think while some things are driven by fate alot of things are also just random or chaotic. A flip of a coin it could go either way. Which feels like a hopeless way to look at things but as much as I ponder it is the only reason I can come up with that makes sense to me.


I admit I fear dying. It is scary and unknown. I could be right, I could be wrong. there is no way to know, no guarantee. You just have to have faith. 


I think alot of people put too much thought into the afterlife and do not just focus on life right now. They see this life, this body as just a burden or hurdle to get over so they can have eternal whatever. I think that is sad. 

I think if there was a heaven it would be right here in this life, in this moment. In the love & happiness all around us. Perhaps heaven and hell exist in everyday moments. Everyday we die and are reborn just like the setting and rising sun.